Ma Première Soirée

Saturday night, my host sister had her soiree. I don’t believe we really have an equivalent to a soiree in the U.S. A soiree is not a party for a birthday. It is not a “coming out” party, and it is not a dance part. The only thing the U.S. has that is close to a soiree is cotillion. I had some friends who did cotillion, but from what I remember, we were much younger. The majority of my friends did cotillion when they were about twelve or thirteen, and it was just a class where they learned how to eat politely and how to dance. A soiree is a bit like cotillion because the kids take a class when they are fifteen. The class is more of a social gathering each week, and the kids get to know each other. Throughout the class, the kids learn how to dance, and we are not talking learning the waltz. The dance is very French, and my host father told me that I will not see the dance anywhere but in France. The dance looks a bit like swing dancing, but there are still multiple differences. It is couples dancing, so only a guy and a girl can partake together. After the kids take the class when they are fifteen and they have gotten to know each other, the next year is the year when all of the soirees occur. I think the main idea of the soirees is to have a safe place for kids to socialize and to enable your kids to have a broad social group. Two families host the soiree, and each month or so, two other families take on the task of hosting. The job of hosting includes decorating one of the families’ houses and hiring a DJ. The other family takes on the task of preparing all of the food for about sixty hungry teenagers. My host family prepared all of the food, while the other family decorated their house. My host mother made thousands of tartlettes, for dessert and for hors d’oeuvres. They also bought tons of types of drinks, as well as made sangria. In addition to all of the food preparation, my host mother made a dress for Clotilde (the host sister), and the dress was absolutely gorgeous. I was invited to go along with my host family to the soriee, and I tried to help out as much as I could, so the family could actually enjoy themselves. It was truly an experience to see all of the kids dancing together, to see that sixteen year old boys are the same despite a difference in country, to see the awkward, nerdy, sixteen year old girl standing in the corner. I think the idea of the soirees is a great idea, because having an immediate social group for your kids and having supervised parties is better than having your kids go out to clubs and bars to make friends. I do have one disagreement with the idea of the soirees. The soirees are very patriarchal, and that really annoyed me. It was a bit like stepping back in time, when only the man can ask the woman to dance. It is absolutely unheard of for a girl to go ask a guy to dance. In my opinion, that needs to be changed, because the young girls will continue to be submissive and shy if it doesn’t change. I think my host family appreciated having me there. They kept telling me not to help, but I didn’t want to stand there and do nothing. It made me happy to be able to help out my host family on an occasion when they were obviously full of pride.